Welcome to Bonito.. Brazil starts here!

A three hour journey from possibly the ugliest bus station in the world -they print postcards of that building!- and I´m impressed by my seating arrangements. This scantily clad Brazilian angels legs would rub continuously against my own for the whole journey while I myself am pushed closer still towards her by a girl standing in the crowded isle who eventually gives up and begins sitting on the edge of my other leg. Offer her the seat? Fuck off!

She talks to me -hot one at the window seat- and I´ve no idea what she´s saying. Could be anything, anything!

Andy’s mind:

“Have me you sexy tiger. Rip me apart right now”!


-Probably- “Stop touching my leg you beast”!

She grabs my hand, peels my fingers open and places a boiled sweetie inside and continues to talk quietly in Portuguese while pointing at herself and then towards me. I´ve not a fucking clue.

Two hours later she leaves the bus and I want so badly to go with her but she arranges with some guys who are also on their way to Bonito that they should show me where to go and help me out. When I depart the bus I fuck off and get on with my own thing. Thanks but I don´t need a baby sitter.. Especially male ones!

The small town is mobbed completely due to the festival taking place and I might be completely fucked for finding a place to stay as it´s nine o´clock at night and it´ll have to be tomorrow before I make my way towards the farm where I plan to work for the next three months. The police I talk with point out a posada (hostel) and I get completely ripped off. Not wanting to think about this any longer or of what I´d like to do to that fuckin prick, I move swiftly on to going out to check out what this party´s all about.

I´m drinking alone beside one of the many small beer stalls when approached by the only other caucasian here and she instantly makes a drunken bee-line towards me. “Where are you from, what’s you´re name”? Standard shit but she´s really drunk and staring directly into my eyes while rubbing my arm up and down. Fucking LOVE this country!

After maybe forty minutes of talking shit she leads me towards her friend’s house, actually her Dads friend’s house, but I´m getting the feeling Daddy and friends won´t be in.. Wrong!

On the front step of the house sits her Dad with his bit on the side who´s younger than his daughter and his friends.

The second I´m introduced words are exchanged in Portuguese from father to daughter while he politely smiles at me.

“My Dad is being an asshole. He´s asking why I brought you here and doubts that you do anything decent for a living”.

Fucking wanker.

“He wants to know what you do”.

His fucking daughter by the end of the night I hope but no, biting my tongue does nothing for me and soon after he leads her away from this tattooed punk of a man and I never see her again.

A dead end sure, but it´s all going in the right direction. Two girls I want to fuck and two guys I want to kill so far, but things are gonna get pretty interesting this side of the world. That´s a promise..


3 thoughts on “Welcome to Bonito.. Brazil starts here!

  1. Andy, why did you leave London? We have ugly buildings here, honest .. (Mind you, the weather we’re having so far this week, your chances of being accosted by anyone in shorts are decidedly thin ..)

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